It is well documented that knitting is a useful tool for beating, or at least staving off the troublesome cravings of alcohol and drug addiction. For newly sober folks, shifting their focus onto an obsessive, all consuming pursuit like knitting is far less fatal than their alternative.
But let’s look at the real dangers of knitting? Since I began my first project three months ago I have been unable to make my bed, do my laundry or tend to my plants. I miss appointments, don’t call my mother and avoid all social activities. I have traded my life for the very real addiction that is knitting.
My first project, a scarf, came out great. From then I was hooked. The matching hat, knit in the round – in the round – was equally as pleasurable. Since then, I have not allowed a single day to pass where I wasn’t running home to my needles. Wash cloths, bags, blankets, there’s so much to knit. I just got a pattern for a Starbucks coffee cup sleeve. I can make 50 by Christmas.
My Friends Are Worried
I find myself in mid-conversation with close friends wishing they would hurry up and let me get on with my projects. The boyfriend has conducted entire conversations with me that I don’t even remember. I’m a black-out knitter.
Other than still having all of my teeth, there is virtually no difference between my cravings for needles and those of a heroin addict. I need help.
ARIES March 21- April 19
The time could not be righter for you to make hard and fast New Year’s resolutions. These resolutions will mark the beginning of a short-term career goal you’ve been secretly eyeing since summer of 2013. Right now, you have the vision and passion to shoot your career out of the stratosphere. Take on that leadership position you are destined for. About two years from now, when a colleague says to you, “Did you ever imaging making it this far,” you will answer matter-of-factly “Yes.”
TAURUS April 20 – May 20
Right in the middle of opening night chaos for the Good Shepard in NYC, Angelina whisked Brad away to Frank Lloyd Wright’s Falling Water home for a single evening of natural, quiet beauty. Your life may take on similar properties, contrasting high profile obligations with sudden, necessary moments of stark solitude. The trick here is to remember that when everyone is clambering for your attention, these quiet retreats are as easy to come by as a simple “would you excuse me for a moment.” This month, as long as you’re always planning your next get-away, you’ll be able to handle the cheering fans and frenzied paparazzi with ease and grace.
GEMINI May 21 – June 21
Some infants don’t say anything for two years and then suddenly start speaking in full sentences. You may have been feeling like an interested observer, Gemini – watching how things are done, but not quite ready to take the reigns. Well, you’re ready now. This month you’ll feel a new sense of eagerness to start talking; and what you’ll say will be so dead-on that people will have to take notice. You can’t keep quiet when you know there’s a better alternative. The beginning of 2016 will be about telling it like it is. If you see a flaw in the system, don’t be afraid to share your solution with the crowd. Once you get going, you’ll dazzle your colleagues. You may even surprise yourself.
CANCER June 22 – July 22
Reap what you hath sown. This is your New Year’s mantra Cancer. You’ve spent the better part of 2015 planning a large-scale future and here it is. Now it’s time to get used to all benefits, as well as the responsibilities of being one of a privileged class. There are those who plan, check, do, act and those who make sweeping changes in their lives and worry about consequences later. In the coming year, you will surely have your share of joy, wonder and a kind of glorious chaos that you may already be getting used to.